((Can-can music blasts through the magically installed loudspeakers))
Mel: Splendid! Now guys, we are SO ready for your first can-can performance.
Wendy: Oooohh...
F&J, N&L: Aiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
((Continued by Nick! :)))
Just before Mel and Wen can make F&J and N&L start doing the "can-can" - something weird happens. Mel realises 'someone' is typing the story!!
| Mel: | 'Hey! Who're you? What're you doin?' |
| Nick: | 'I'm writing this story.' |
| Mel: | 'You can't do that! It's my story! |
| Nick: | 'We're partners, remember?! Ha!' |
| Mel: | 'Arrggg. Not fair :( |
| Nick: | 'I'm writing that Nickagorn and Arathorn arrive in "THE ROOM" hey - who did that?' |
| Mel: | 'Ha! You don't have CONTrol of MY room! |
| (( Evil Laugh )) | |
| Nick: | 'Not fair!' |
| Mel: | 'All's fair in love and um, infatuation with lots of snogging and tutu wearing' |
NICKAGORN AND ARAGORN TRANSPORT INTO THE ROOM. WRITER NICK LAUGHS
| Nick: | 'Why are Nickagorn and Aragorn still here then? |
| Mel: | 'Cause I wan them to be! They can join in the dance!!! |
| Nick: | 'No!' |
| N&A: | 'Oh no! What have we got into?" |
| Mel: | 'Ha!!! serves you right for interfering!' |
Mel is back to typing on the keyboard, pushing Nick out of the way.
"The Can-Can music is back, and ALL the boys are forced to get up and dance.
| All the boys: | "Show us mercy!" |
| Mel: | "Will we be merciful, Wendy?" |
| Wen: | "Noooo!!! (( laughs )) Make them dance some more!" |
| Mel: | "Sorry boys!" |
| Boys: | "At least get us out of these costumes, pleeeeze!!!" |
| Mel: | "What do you think Wen?" |
| Wen: | "oh, alright then." |
Mel types. The boys are now all wearing dress uniforms.
| Wen: | "Nah, not soldiers or policemen. Hmmm. Try tux's!!" |
Magically Mel types once more and ALL the boys are wearing tuxedos.
| Wen: | 'That's better! Cool!' |
| Mel: | 'I like it! I'm gonna dance with.. I can't choose! Frank, or Lego, or Aragorn, or maybe Nickagorn? help! |
| Wen: | 'Well, not Lego, cause he's mine!' |
| Mel: | 'But really, I want Nicky Byrne!! yay!' |
| Nicky B: | 'I hate mad fans!' |
| Mel: | 'Behave, or I'll take away your formal wear!' |
| Nicky B: | 'OK, ok... just let me keep my clothes on!' |
| Wen: | 'Now there IS an idea, Mel!' |
| Mel: | 'No, we gotta keep this clean! No nakedness!' (despite the previous instalment...) |
Just then, Nick writes... The tables are turned. They boys have control of the board!
| Nickagorn: | 'Well boys, what shall we do with them?' |
| Nicky B: | 'I just want to get out of here. They're not that bad. That Mel is kinda cute too. |
| Lego: | 'Well, Wen is Very OK for me. I'll stay. I'm having fun, actually. |
| F&J: | *Shrug together* 'We might as well stay.' |
| Aragorn: | 'I will not leave my friends in trouble. I'll stay too.' |
Mel snatches back control
| Mel: | 'Nickagorn should be punished for his insubordination!!' |
| Wen: | 'Don't be too harsh on him!' |
| Mel: | 'Well, all right. He's OK really...' |
| Frank: | 'Reality check here, people. Mel, R U gonna let us out of here ever again? |
| JOE: | 'Yeah, like, this is gettin' boring, y'know! |
| MEL: | 'OK, OK...I guess you're right.' |
| F&J: | 'You do?!' |
| Aragorn: | ( |
| Legolas: | ( You DO?!!!! |
| NickyB: | ( |
| WEN: | 'Ha! I wanna write something...' |
| MEL: | 'Go ahead' |
| Frank: | 'NO!!!!' |
WEN ADVANCES ON FRANK. FRANK IS POWERLESS TO DO ANYTHING, Wen types.
| Frank: | 'Like Hell I am.' TRIES TO RUN |
| JOE: | 'Resist her Frank! What'd Vanessa say? Or Callie?' |
| Frank: | 'What century are you in, Joe? Vanessa is your new girl, remember? And, I split with Callie ages ago. I think. Ack, I don't know. My head hurts about all that.' |
| JOE: | 'My first girlfriend, for 100 odd books was it, spanning 70 years? ...Well... she's alive. Then in the new tougher series, she gets killed in the first 5 mins. I mean, what a *Bleep!* mess that is! |
| Aragorn: | 'That's not the language I would expect from the likes of you, son. |
| JOE: | 'Whom are you calling son, Hippie?!' |
| Aragorn: | 'What's a happy?' |
| Nickagorn: | 'It's Hippie. And you're not. Don't worry about it!' |
NICK TAKES THE KEYBOARD FROM WENDY...
| Aragorn: | 'I'll strike him down with my sword!' |
| Mel: | 'Let it alone NICK! Give Wen back the keyboard!' |
| Wen: | 'Yeah, give me back the keyboard!' |
| Nick: | 'Awww!! Not fair! I only got to write one line!' |
| Mel: | 'Mawahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!' |
| Nick: | 'That's funny' |
| Mel: | 'Are you mocking me?' |
| Nick: | 'No! Of course not!' |
| Mel: | 'I should hope not! Anyway, Frank, Joe; we have to address this situation.' |
| F&J: | 'What situation?' |
| Mel: | 'Whatever happened to Callie and Iola?' |
| Frank: | 'We told you. In the "Grown Up" series of books, Iola is apparently killed off in the first book.' |
| Joe: | 'Yeah. That was a real bummer. I didn't handle that very well, really.' |
| Frank: | 'Don't worry about it. You're only 17. You have been for - how many years, anyone?' |
| Aragorn: | 'Who are these guys and what the hell are they talking about?' |
| Legolas: | 'They star in a popular series of books here on this planet. I think.' |
| Wen: | 'That's right Legolas! Yay!' |
WENDY SNOGS LEGOLAS, BUT THIS TIME HE DOESN'T SEEM TO MIND, Wen writes.
| Mel: | 'Ha! Not fair Wen, writing in snogging scenes for yourself!' |
| Wen: | 'Anyway...' |
| Mel: | 'Yeah, anyway... We're all really sorry, Joe. About Iola, I mean.' |
| The "OTHERS": | 'We are?!' |
| Mel: | 'Don't be heartless! He lost his girlfriend!' |
| Frank: | 'Well, he's got Vanessa now. |
| Aragorn: | 'I have no idea what this is about!' |
| Mel: | 'Yeah. Nick? Let Aragorn and, er, well, you - go.. Aragorn is not getting any good dialogue and it's tarnishing his good character.' |
| Nickagorn: | 'Alright.' |
NICKAGORN AND ARAGORN ARE TRANSPORTED OUT OF "THE ROOM" Star Trek (tm) style.
| Mel: | 'That's better, isn't it?' |
WELL, NICKAGORN IS GONE, BUT I AM STILL HERE, Nick writes.
| Mel: | 'Bah!' |
| Wen: | 'Anyway, guys.... |
| Frank: | 'Well, we all feel sorrow for Joe, of course. In one universe, at least, that is. Well, except for Vanessa.' |
| Joe: | 'Thanks for the support brother!' |
| Wen: | 'OK, calm down you two. We don't want you to get into a fight over this!' |
| Mel: | 'We don't? Why?!!!!!' |
| Wen: | 'We are "trying" to hear their story, that's why!' |
| Legolas: | 'I don't think it is fair. To force them to fight, I mean.' |
| Frank: | 'We are not going to fight. Nick is in charge of the keyboard, and he won't let that happen.' (FROWNS) 'Wow! How did I know that?' |
| Mel: | 'Because I'd make you fight. Nick's got control again, and I can't do anything about it! Bah!' |
| Mel: | 'Hey! Arrrggg.. That's not what I wanted to say!!!' |
| Mel: | 'Nick keeps putting these words in my mouth. Stop it, Nick! Pretty please?!' |
| Wen: | 'Ok, we're straying off the topic. Nick, don't be so mean. Mel, just accept Nick is writing this for now! Hey! Why am I being so reasonable?!' |
| Frank: | 'Now is our chance to escape, Joe!' |
| Joe: | 'You never said a truer word brother. Lead the way!' |
| Frank: | 'Hmmmm. How come you made that sound like an insult? |
| Joe: | 'Intelligent dialogue. I don't get a lot of it these days.' |
| Frank: | 'You know, you're right. You're the brawn, I'm the brains. Hasn't it always been that way?' |
| Joe (BAH!) | 'Yes, ( Gritted Teeth ) and it's not fair.' |
| Frank: | 'The curse of being blond, I'd say!!!' |
| NickyB: | 'OY! Watch it mate!' |
| Frank: | 'Oh shit. Seriously Joe. Let's go.' |
| Joe: | 'No way. You've insulted this Irish Singer guy, and you should apologise!' |
| Mel: | 'Can I say something here?' |
| Wen: | 'Well, that depends on whether Nick lets you, doesn't it?' |
MEL FIGHTS NICK FOR CONTROL OF THE KEYBOARD, WRESTLES IT BACK MOMENTARILY
| Mel: | 'Yay! I got it!' |
| Wen: | 'Quick!' |
| Mel: | 'OK. Frank, say you're sorry to Nicky, or I'll torture you for a LONG time!' |
| Frank: | 'Don't wanna!' |
| Joe: | 'Grow up Frank!' |
| WRITER MEL: | "Nick, we need to share the keyboard, ok?" |
| WRITER NICK: | "OK, OK. It's time Frank and Joe got back home again, anyway. |
| WRITER MEL: | "TRUE. WE CAN CONTINUE THIS INTERVIEW ANOTOHER TIME" |
| F&J: | 'You mean we've got to come back? Again?!' |
| Mel: | 'Well, we haven't properly discussed your past, or what's going on with your girlfriends, have we?' |
| F&J: | 'Well......' |
| WRITER NICK: | "FINE THEN!" |
| Mel: | 'Just say sorry, Frank.' |
| NickyB: | 'Don't worry about it, lass. I'm used to the insults, being Irish and all.' |
| Frank: | (mumbles)'Sorry.' |
| Joe: | 'Let's go. Now!' |
FRANK AND JOE DISAPPEAR FROM THE ROOM, AS DO LEGOLAS AND NICKY B.
| Wen: | "Well. It's over." |
| Mel: | "Waaaah!! I want my Nicky Byrne!!! And that was a lousy apology Frank did." ((grumble)) |
| Wen: | "Aww... hug hug!" |
| Mel: | "Never mind! Until Next time! Mwahahahahahahahah!!!" |
| Nick: | "What about me?" |
| Mel: | "Oh, I'll get my revenge on YOU in part 5, dear friend!" |